Random, spur-of-the-moment writing to make myself feel better

I’ve been having an uncontrollable urge to write all day today. Actually, all day I’ve been feeling that I need to do something more and like something was missing and I wasn’t sure what that something was. But somehow, at 10:30 pm, I figured it out and it was to write. I don’t know why? But that’s what something has been telling me to do so here I am at 10:30 at night, typing on my laptop in my full sized bed, with my sleeping 3 year old to my right and boyfriend playing a what seems to be a very intense 2k basketball game on the Xbox (scratch that. The game must have been “cheating” because he just randomly got off..) to my left. Having no idea wtf I’m going to write about. Update: Erik the boyfriend is now sleeping.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I want to do. You know, for money. I say it that way because I hate jobs and refuse to call the next thing I do to make money a job because I want to LOVE it and I want it to be in a unconventional way. For example, right now I’m walking dogs for a living. As much as I realize how unconventional of a “job” that is and as much as I enjoy playing with dogs all day, I know it’s not what I actually want to be doing. Lately I’ve been thinking about creating and setting up a Etsy shop. I just don’t know what I want to create yet!!! Not knowing but constantly thinking is making me feel very unproductive and starting to drive me a little crazy because I’m craving a change NOW and that just cant happen yet. After writing this though, at this second, I’m starting to realize my urge to write today is my way of making me feel productive and as if I’m actually doing something to better myself and life instead of just thinking of different ways to do so. I’ll take it… For now.

After discovering this, I feel a sort of relief and am very excited for sleep now! Thanks brain, fingers and laptop for being there for me tonight! Couldn’t have done it without cha. Goodnight!!! Update: Erik the boyfriend is moving way too much. Kinda weird how much hes moving.. Definitely annoying.